FICTION & SATIRE
The New York Times
Your Apartment Tries to Talk You Out of Going to a Party
The New Yorker
I Am a Tinder Guy Holding a Fish and I Will Provide for You
Items You Insist on Hoarding Even Though They’re Garbage
New and Improved Names for Figure Skating
Are You and Your First-Grade Boyfriend Ready for Marriage?
How to Concentrate on Work During an Intense News Cycle
Reasons You, My Roommate, Should Adopt a Dog
What I Mean by “Looking for Fun” in My Dating Profile
Some Calming New Breathing Exercises to Try Out
How Dating During a Pandemic Is Like Being in a Jane Austen Novel
McSweeney's
Mrs. Potts Confronts the Enchantress Who Cursed Her and the Other Servants
Scenic Locales for Your June Divorce
A Glossary of Euphemisms for Sexual Misconduct
Your Ex Asks You to Stay His Friend and Primary Source of Emotional Labor
A Day in the Life of a Female Incel
Liberal White Man Seeks Echo Chamber of Other White Men
Your Future Grandchildren’s Responses to How Dating Worked Before Apps
Witch Spells to Keep Ruth Bader Ginsburg Alive Forever
A Guide to Social Distancing for Freelancers
The Washington Post
There Are Dolls for All Barbie's Weddings. Here Are the Ones for Her Divorces.
Man Seeks Therapist Girlfriend
The Rumpus
The Toast
Fun Birthday Traditions That Everyone Loves
How To Decorate Your Dream Library
A Paint Company Describes White Paint Colors
Excerpts from Guy Debord’s “The Muppets”
Solved: Do Men Cry? Do Women Defecate?
The Happiest Word Search on Earth
The Hairpin
Emily Post’s Sanitary Alternatives to Handshakes this Flu Season
A Townsman and a Scribe Write About Evil Witches
The Massachusetts Review (Print)
We Called Her Uteri
J Journal (Print)
Lunch Break
POETRY
Canary
Spillway (Print)
Casablanca
ESSAYS & REVIEWS
HuffPost
The Real Casanova Wasn’t A Ladies Man, He Was A Rapist
The Establishment
I'm Asking Men to Pay Me $5000 to Read Jonathan Franzen
REBLOGS, PRESS, ETC.